Making resolutions that last

January is often accompanied by a large dose of willpower, the best intentions and the hope that this year will be the year that I finally fit into that pair of jeans, get fit, get healthy… Although these intentions are great we often lack the skill and insight to make these changes transform into new habits. Our willpower doesn’t match up to the demands of life and our best intentions never end up making it past February, or maybe March.

I find it helpful to think about building new habits as learning a new skill- like a child learning to read. We don’t just throw a book at a kid and expect them to start reading. We start with small steps, teach them skills and have patience when they make a mistake. We should have this approach to ourselves too. Below are a few tips about how to set goals and strategies how to make changes sustainable.

1. Be specific

Goals such as getting fit, eating healthy, and losing weight are often too vague to invoke action. While these work for an overall intention you need to set yourself smaller, more specific targets which serve as better motivators. Instead of aspiring to ‘get fit’ set yourself a goal to run 10km by a certain date. Set yourself a weight loss target (losing 1-2kg per month is a realistic goal) or write a list of the kinds of foods you need to eat more or less of to follow a healthier diet.

2. Make small changes

Once you have a more specific goal in mind- make a list of strategies that you can implement to make this goal happen. Avoid dramatic changes, as these are difficult to sustain over time. Small, consistent changes are more likely to develop habits that you will maintain in the long term. If we return to the analogy of learning to read- we first teach children letters and then words. We make small goals for them to attain.

For example: instead of deciding you are going to exercise every day (if you haven’t been exercising at all)- set a goal to exercise once during the week and once on a weekend. Once you’ve established this habit then increase it to 3 times a week, then 4 etc. If you have 500ml of Coke every day- reduce this to 250ml a day, then 250ml every second day, then only on weekends. If you never eat vegetables aim to include vegetables in your meals 3 times a week, then try to include them 4 times etc.

3. Pick the low-hanging fruit

Once you have your list of strategies- pick the one that feels easiest to do. For example; if you want to lose weight and you know you need to drink fewer cool drinks, eat less chocolate, eat more vegetables and add exercise; but you hate exercise. Choose another change first- like drinking less cool drinks- before you start with exercise. The success you see from the first change you’ve made will help to motivate you for the next one.

4. Plan for failure

Change is hard and we should prepare ourselves for this. Write down a list of possible reasons why you may fail to reach your goal and brainstorm solutions to these problems before you encounter them. If you know you don’t know how to cook healthy meals- look for recipes or ask someone to teach you. If you know you feel lazy to exercise after work- plan to exercise in the mornings or commit to an exercise class that you are accountable to attend.

Just like we can’t expect children to learn to read without ever making a mistake- we shouldn’t expect to never have a setback either. Sometimes not attaining our goals can be as a result of unplanned challenges such as a busy work week, falling ill or an unexpected load-shedding schedule. When you have a setback- recognise it, ask yourself if there’s a new solution to this challenge or if it is something temporary (e.g. like being sick) and then start moving towards your goal again. Setbacks shouldn’t be excuses to give up; see them as opportunities to develop resilience and with that more lasting change.

5. Phone a friend

Making changes with the support or help of others is a great way to help keep your motivation levels up. Try to set goals as a family or group of work colleagues to keep each other accountable. If that’s not possible then try to join a gym or seek the help of a professional such as a dietitian, physiotherapist or psychologist- depending on what your goals are.

Need some help? Contact me to make an appointment to identify strategies for you to stick to your goals this year. Virtual consults are also available.